When there is divorce there's bound to be bitterness, heartache and animosity. My relationship with my ex-mother in law was very much like mother and daughter. It wasn't me..it was just her. She was a warm and loving person who embraced anyone who walked into her life. Regardless of race or religion. It was an honour to be her daughter in law. I know how her heart broke when my marriage ended. We were still in communication during the last leg of my marriage. She tried her best to help us make amends yet committed to still be by my side if I decided to unravel my marriage vows. And that was exactly what she did. But I did not want to create a rift between her and her son and his new bride.I realised how hard it was for her to balance between supporting me and her son. I concluded that by taking me out of the equation, the task to reconcile with her new daughter in law will be made easier. Her new daughter in law also will not need to work so hard to figure out how to strategise to make me look like the crook :), Hence, I decided to stay away. I had to sever ties so that there will be no reason for the new forged relationship to weaken in any way. And part of the reason, was also selfish, I was too tired of being accused of many things I did not do, by certain factions. I just wanted to move on.

There's a malay saying which goes- "to swallow will cause the child's death, while to spit out will cause the father's death,". Such was the situation my ex-mother in law was in.

Reconciliation was made and I achieved my objective. But on her death, I had to contribute the final deed for her. To pray for her and do whatever I can to ease the burdens of her children. Cutting the pandan leaves, tying the last knot of her shroud..anything else. I realise how much I love her, and I know she loved me back after knowing each other for more that 20 years. I just hope, that from where she is now, she knows that.

Tahlil for my Ex-Mother In Law

I know I am a little late to post for Wednesday. Now let me come up with the genuine excuses..i was tied up with all sorts of stuff in the day time..and had a meeting all the way in Cyberjaya and had to rush straight for my Ex-Mother In Law's tahlil (like a prayer and memorial). I realise how much i miss her.
Ties lost are reforged. I realise how much I missed my ex sister in laws. Well I hope i still qualify for Nablopomo. I have to rest now, coz it is really tiring and I have tonnes of deadlines to meet.

My Ex-Mother In Law Passed Away

I won't be saying much, except that my ex-mother in law passed away early this morning. The reality hit me when I was there to help prepare for the funeral and when I saw with my own eyes her pale remains, as if in a deep peaceful sleep. I am still unable to diffuse the gamut of emotions which currently seem to feel like one big untidy knot in the very pit of my being; ranging from sadness to grief to fear to i don't know what..It is tough to figure this out on my own...I was able to be a pillar of support to others, but when it comes to me, I have to go it alone..but well and good..that is how it is meant to be. And thank God for my wonderful sister and my seven wonderful babies. I will post again when I feel better.

Under One Big Sky

As the day draws to a close, and I am completely blank about what I should blog about today, I begin to become restless. I have scribbles and scraps of ideas on things I would like to immortalise in my blog, but none well formed enough to justify a complete blog post. But I need to uphold my commitment to blog everyday for a month...and therefore to fill up this gap, I have decided to count my blessings.
There are many..countless blessings, infact. But one that deserves mention in this little space is that I am extremely grateful for the new friends I have made in the cyberworld through my blogging, and the bond with existing friends that I am able to strengthen. It is quite cool to browse through various websites and blogs to find nuggets of wisdom to fill the void within me and for me to carry along throughout the day, revelling in the beauty of the language and nuances used by the authors, seeing things I have seen all my life from one angle from a completely new perspective and knowing that I am not alone in my trials and tribulations, and that there are many who think like me. But to have a bilateral communication is truly something else, I feel like I have friends who speak the same lingo. And I am not lonely anymore. Thank you so much for reciprocating to my comments and for dropping by and leaving your comments so that I can return your gesture.

As I looked up to the sky from my balcony, I can see the peaks of the Petronas Twin Towers. (I live just 10 minutes' drive away from this grand landmark). And above it the sky with sprinklings of clouds illuminated by the towers' beautiful and expensive specialist lighting. Way above it the great big sky stretching out spanning this entire planet, forming an extensive roof above our heads..and I realise that we are all under the shelter of one gigantic roof, and it makes me feel close to everyone, regardless of where are feet are planted...

Brown Waxed Paper Brollies - Sunday Scribblings

It was raining outside as I was writing this blog. My bedroom draperies were slightly opened and I could see how beautiful the curtain of rain looked as it fell on my balcony. Sheets of rain which pelted on the wooden railings splattered into beautiful splinters of blue and settled into transparent saphire droplets.

I love rain. I love the world after it rained. It is as if the world has just returned from the launderette. Everything looks so clean, the trees and grass looks fresher than ever. And the greyish tar on the road looks even darker as if it has just been freshly laid. Even my soul feels as if it has been washed. And I love the sweet smell of rain. It reminds me of the time when I was little, in good old Penang.

My first memories of rainy days are of brollies made of brown waxed paper with ratan ribs. It gives out this distinct aroma which is unique and wonderful when rain fell on it. And whenever it rains, wherever I may be, be it when I was in Sydney or in London, or in Kuala Lumpur, the city I now call home, my senses will be taken over by this wonderful sense of smell, it is as if I am transported in an invisible time machine back to those days when I used to live in this little house, in a neighbourhood called Brown Gardens; where the neighbours were multiracial. A truly intergrated Malaysian society with an Indian neighbour on my left and a Chinese one on my right and some Malays, Indians and Chinese staying in the row of houses opposite ours. Every evening, when the clock struck 5 , I was allowed to go out and play. I and the other kids regardless of race and religion would play hop scotch, police and thief, skipping, kali toi, masak-masak and many other games which we never managed to christen with a name, but nonetheless enjoyed tremendously. Among the most significant memory I have of this era of my life is of the time when my Indian neighbours taught me how to ride the bicycle. I went for quranic studies at my malay neighbour’s house and we celebrated every religious celebration there was, with no discrimination. Those were the days when we used the waxed paper brollies which gave out the wonderful aroma of rain.

The gusty wind blew rain into my face and my invisible time machine brought me back to the current time in my bedroom. Back to the time of automatic opening, wind resistant, fibre glass reinforced plastic ribbed brollies.

Reflecting on what I saw during my “time travel”, I wish we are less discriminatory today. I wish that my children can experience the same warmth, friendship and solidarity among their multiracial, multifaithed friends as I had during the days of the waxed paper brolly. In fact their sense of brotherhood should be stronger now that 50 years has passed since Malaysia achieved her independence. How can we achieve this, if we as parents still can't put aside our differences and embrace our similarities, and grow from there...

Sometimes we forget the most important questions

These last few days I have not been as strong as I have been or would like to be. I hover around different webpages which have given me inspiration, and later went blog hopping. I know i am supposed to be working, but there are times when I know the best thing to do is to just go with the flow. Need to hit bottom to the point where there’s no where else to go but up, and that’s exactly what I am doing.

As always, God showed me again how He answers our prayers, I came across this beautiful, blog, owned by an equally beautiful mother of two, called THE PAINTED HOUSE .
All her posts interest and amaze me. I relate to her, since I am also a single mother, but at this point in time, this post really struck a chord. Here is a link to her post:What is your unrelenting passion?

I wish I can be half as eloquent as her and as sure footed in this expedition through life on planet earth.

The questions laid out on this page of her blog made me rethink again about my life and my journey.
1. When was the last time you did something for the first time?
2. If you think life is hard, what are you comparing it to?
3. What do you pack to pursue a dream and what do you leave behind?
4. How would you introduce yourself to God?
5. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?
6. How many ways do you know to free yourself?
7. If you had 5 minutes to live, who would you call and why are you waiting?
8. If you don't have the things you want, are you grateful for the things you don't have that you didn't want?
9. What would you attempt if you knew you couldn't fail?
10. Do you know where you are on your journey?


Among all the questions, I find question no.7 most urgent. Maybe if we live our life constantly asking these questions, there will be less regrets.

Thank you Jane. It is wonderful to find your blog.I hope we can be friends.

I MESSED UP MY LAYOUT

I messed up my blog layouts again. I think I have done this once before. But I guess this is just like life. You take a whole lot of time and effort to build something, and it only takes a click of a button to destroy it. But that's ok, I will just need to rebuild it again, and I am sure this is going to be a really interesting journey.
I have lost all my buttons and links to my favourite blogs, but perhaps this is a doorway to new frontiers.
Yup, got my back pack ready, and I am off on my new adventure again

Loneliness

I woke up in the morning feeling so down, I cannot even begin to describe it. A deep and profound sense of helplessness and despair was just hovering over me. I slumped back into bed, and just gave in to the feeling that began to overpower me...tears of sadness just trickled down my cheeks, and my silent sniffles eventually gave way to sobs. I wished I could just curl up into a ball and disappear..Signs have been showing me that i have to relinquish certain things that have been weighing me down, making me sad. How could I be so blind and stupid as not to see...

I needed to find my balance again, and there's only one way to do it:
I just let the whole emotion take control over me, i needed to get to the bottom of this all engulfing emotion which i have been bottling up for so long. I needed to feel and understand what it is that i am grieving so deeply about.

Grieving...hmm now that’s a clue..Somehow, i needed to get to my state of balance again, but what is this that is not allowing me to do that. I began to feel the deep sense of something terribly unpleasant bubbling up inside me..something which gave out this deafening high pitched whistling sound only audible to my ears...the kind of sound that penetrates so deep to the very quick of me..was it my ears that was the audience to this play of sound? can my heart hear?..does the heart have such faculties...LONELINESS...yes..It's you, isn't it..rearing your ugly head trying to grip and throw me off balance out of the ring just like a Sumo Wrestler. I am just completely sprawled and bruised all over, outside the ring of balance of course. I needed to get up, wipe off the dirt, and most of all heal the bruises of humiliation and rebuild my hope that there is still love left for me.
As I acknowledged Loneliness' presence, it dawned upon me that I have a full hectic day sprawled out before my feet, stretching almost endlessly. Denying and fighting him will do no good..that much, I know..this guy can be very persistent.
"Hello Loneliness," I greeted him.."I would love to sit and chat, unfortunately..you know I can't, not now at least," I said.
"Huh, really..you think you can handle me? You think you can make me go?", Loneliness replied with his normal arrogance, "What if I decide to stay?"
"Well Loneliness..I really mean it when I said I would love to sit and chat..but really not now..I love your company you know..but right now, we won't be doing justice to one another, so please please go home.."
"Bah! You can’t handle me, lady” he spat
Tears of defeat began to well up inside me and slowly feelings I have tried to keep at bay crept up on me, I began to feel that despair, of not having anyone to talk to at the same level, of the shoulder that I wish I have to rest my head once in awhile, of the grind I have to go through today, the financial problems I am facing all on my own and the list goes on and on...then..STOP!! I have to stop this! “Of course I can..I know you are trying to make me blame every other person that comes into contact with me for having you here..and ONE person in particular for that matter..but it is up to ME whether or not I decide to allow you to do that.. I said please but you wouldn't listen..now I command you to go home.." I conjured up all the resolve I had to convince him to leave..and he knew I meant it
“Please don’t send me home.."I noticed him weakening..and i began to feel refreshed
"Right now..why don't you take a break..go have a kit kat or something..go to sleep, you had a long night last night, bugging me..I need to let someone else take over your shift..how about Gratitude.."
“Ok Mistress..you call the shots as usual...don't have too good a day, coz you know, I'll be back..”
"You go rest Lonelinesss, you need it as much as anyone does..I will need you soon. Trust me, I will call you..very soon..I love you Loneliness, never make a mistake about that..so you go now and rest.."
“Alright Mistress..I love you too, and that’s why I am here..I will be here when you call me..but please don’t make me wait too long, that is when I will go beserk and come uninvited when you don't need me.." Loneliness said as he retreated. I hugged him and bade him goodbye
"Hi Gratitude," I greeted her. She was all glowing and well, as beautiful as ever..brilliant and incandescent.."Thank you for being here. You saved my day ..my life even :)"
"Look at these boys aren't they the cutest and the smartest thing in this entire universe," I said as we both looked at Muaz and Huzaifah sleeping soundly on my bed. I knew I will have to wake them up soon..and I will have to argue with Muaz that it was morning already..and he would say, “No Ummi, the sun is not up yet...it’s still night!” and the whole process which I have gone through every morning would repeat itself but now, more often than not, with great JOY..Gratitude and I smiled. I knew that morning that the day which would unfold would be wonderful one..it is always wonderful to begin my day with a smile and Gratitude next to me. I took in a deep breath and gratitude squeezed my hand..Thank you God for keeping me alive today..for allowing me to erase all the wrongs that I have done and rewrite my life for another day. This is certainly going to be a bestselling box office movie..you and I, gratitude, and every other friend we have...loneliness, happiness, anger, pain, sorrow, laughter, jealousy..everyone..we all will add colour to this beautiful story...

SUMPAH BUKAN AKU YANG BUAT SUBTITLES NI!!

Enjoy

The Making of an Animal Rights Activist?

It was a peaceful and lazy Sunday afternoon, round about 3 pm. I was lazing around in my room, reminiscing about the 30 year reunion my alumni organized yesterday. Such an eventful day..I thought…and thank God I am still alive to meet all these wonderful people who have made such a mark one way or the other in my life.....when suddenly

“What the hell do u think you are doing?” an angry voice rang out breaking the peace.
Now that voice is familiar…I thought.

“This cat pooed on my roof! Is this your cat?" came a male voice, equally angry.

“My cats are always in my house..they only come out when I am out..anyways, it doesn’t matter whether it’s my cat or anyone’s cat, you can’t do that to animals!” that familiar voice retorted in anger.

I was wondering what happened…apparently Zara saw this neighbour who was walking with his wife carrying a heavy wooden rod and chasing a cat. He aparently hit the poor cat with a vengeance and being an animal lover, Zara just wouldn't have it.

"You can't do that to cats, you know! It’s a sin!" Zara screamed with anger, by then she was already shivering. "If I catch you doing that again, you watch it! I will report you to the SPCA!”

“Report la..I don’t care” he shouted back at her and rushed towards her brandishing the stick. Zara stood her ground and just stared at him with defiance.

Thank God his wife had the wisdom to stop him,"Ok ok, you take care of your cat ok..." she said as she pulled her husband away from my dear daughter, trying her best to calm him down. Apparently they just walked away after that..

I am so proud of Zara for having the courage to stand up for what she believe is right.

It reminds me of the time when many years ago, I saw a baby goat, a kid, which fell into a drain, without much calculation, I climbed down to try and save it, only to find out that !) the kid was too heavy for me to carry..and worse 2)I couldn't climb out because the drain was too deep ..how i got in, i can't remember....so while the kid bleated ...i had to put aside my embarassment and joined it in chorus "Help! Help!"..No one except for the young chinese neighbours who carried me and the kid out knew about this...I wouldn't leave the drain until they picked up the kid too .. but that's another story …

I know most people would just turn a blind eye to what this man did. Well done my daughter..you are really something and I know you will be great, just as all your brothers and sisters will too. It doesn't matter what other small minded people who only know how to look for our shortcomings think and say. I am really really proud of you

The Divine Matrix

I love this.

Moving on

The time is eventually up for me to end my sabbatical from my blogging. I have traveled far and deep, more into myself than anywhere else to seek healing and rebuild myself spiritually and emotionally. This journey has been most fruiful during the last 10 days or so. How little did I understand the strength that God has bestowed upon us humans, being the best of His creation. I praise Him for making me understand that all that I have gone through, and all the individuals I have met, loved and detested alike, were the greatest teachers customised by God and sent into my lap, especially for me. Some for a season, some for a couple of years, some for decades while others have lasted till this very day. That the only way to heal is to forgive ourselves and everyone and everything; and henceforth learn to love, without judging.

With this awareness and a renewed spirit, I am ready to continue on this journey of life, with the veil of judgment being removed from my vision.

I applaud and respect the person who has taken the chance and borne the accusations of betrayal in order not to betray his own soul and who has gritted his teeth and appear heartless when he disappointed another to be true to himself.

Many more lessons can surely be learnt..after all, a teacher once told me- "no problem no fun"

To the person whom I love and whom I hope one day will become my reality, I dedicate this poetry ,from the book by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, called The Invitation



It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

42 eventually

I turned 42 eventually. I was going home after a long day at the office meeting almost impossible deadlines and as I was going to my car, I saw all my babies outside..and I said..what are you people doing here! And they said "Alamaaaak Kantoi!" (Oh dear Busted!). They were supposed to give me a surprise Party. Umair who was not supposed to be back made the loooong trip home from Cyberjaya..and we had a grand party even if my two office mates couldn't make it.
Here are some of the photos taken..of course Muaz argued that it was his birthday and that was his cake..due to some miscommunication, there were two cakes so well and good :-)

I DON'T BELIEVE I AM A RED!!

Your Aura is Red

You have a high level of emotion. This can mean passion, but it can also mean rage. Usually, you don't take these emotions out on others. You just use them as motivation - and it works! The purpose of your life: embracing all the wonders of the life, lots of travels, and tons of adventures Famous reds include: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Lopez Careers for you to try: Dancer, Boxer, Surgeon

What Color Is Your Aura?

Tiger Woods' Secret Of Success

Anyone wants to know one of Tiger Woods' success secret? Well here it is:

“My parents always told me they loved me every night, every time we said goodbye. That was just something that I was never afraid to go out there and push myself to the limit. And if I failed, so what?
I always had them to pick me up. I think that’s something that not all people have, but I was lucky to have that my entire life.”

I found this on one of my favourite blogs,the Intent Blog
That is the kind of parent I want to be. It doesn't matter that single me has to stand for the plural "parents". I set my mind to do it. And I think every parent should too.

Getting A's and excelling in academics isn't everything. And regardless of how bad things are, YOU as a parent should be there for them, should give them hope that they are really made of good stuff..simply because they are.
"Kaizen" should be the mode here..not "automatic switch mode", expecting them to change in a split second..
and utter only positive loving words to them.
Alway always have open arms for them to fall into..
And never feel too high and mighty to say you are sorry...because parents err too..infact, all the time...

Well you can't rewrite the begining, but you certainly have the chance to make right the end.

I love my kids with all my heart and they are getting better and better every day...

friends for life

Just last week, my daughter had to make up some names for her school project. She was supposed to conduct a survey on income levels and career or something of that nature, and since I do not have many friends that I meet and we are like recluses in our area, she had to make some of her subjects up. Her tuition teacher warned her against making up Chinese names..because according to him..it will stick out like a sore thumb....the chinese would know... So she asked me to come up with my primary school friends’ names..I was glad quite a few of them rolled out smoothly on my tongue..but then there were some..which I just couldn't remember. I tried to picture them at their designated seats in Standard 6 Mawar Green Lane Convent 2..some seats were without occupants, some occupied by faceless girls, while others I couldn’t place a name to their faces. Some I just remembered their Christian names, while others, I had their names spinning somewhere at the tip of my conscious memory. I once vowed that I will never ever forget them..I remember how mom just smiled when I said that..because she knew that I would..
But my batch mates in Kulim, is a different story altogether. Having lived with them under one roof for five formative years (yes i consider those years formative, it formed my personality and general outlook about life), I hold these individuals close to my heart. These people I am positive I will never forget till the day I die. I keep telling my children, that it is these friends that you make in secondary school which will stay with you for life. Yes you will leave them behind for a while, move on, get on with your life, chase your dream, build a career, build a family..but one day, you will realise these are the friends that you read about in poetry and in quotable quotes. Who will be there for you when you are in need. All the idiosyncrasies which you despised when you were in school with them, will dissipate into thin air, and you will start to see only their best side. Even if you disliked them when you were in school, they have been so embodied into you that to pry them away will entail cutting bits and pieces of you away too, and you realise that you actually love them. I look forward to my reunions with them with glee. I mark the date weeks ahead and check the date again anda again less I forget or get confused. And inspite of the 30 odd years which lay between the time since we bade our last tearful farewells, the wrinkles that has formed on each and everyone of us, the hair loss (for the guys), the greying strands of hair, the extra flesh in odd places..I see them just as those 17 year old girls and boys I used to know. I love them with all my heart.
Last two weeks , we girls had a wonderful reunion at Ikea..not many came but enough to make our hearts glow to last us till the next reunion. It was grand to see ka..oops i mean Rani..so vogue and beautiful as ever. Liza brought along her cute baby girl who has grown so much from the last time I saw her. And of course Wan brought along her twin princess in their beautiful frilly dresses. My heart warmed to see my beloved friends..I am still carrying the good feeling of seeing them around until today. And when it gets chilly, I just need to look at these pictures and give one of them a buzz :-)

try nt 2 be so bitter, it already mk u look so old

Out of the blues today I received an sms in my phone just a moment ago. Among other things said to satisfy the heart of the sender was "Try not to be so bitter, it already make u look so old". It brought a smile to my lips which spread to my eyes and to my heart..and lo and behold add another wrinkle on this ‘old face’.
Thank you dear sender. It is a reminder I do not need from you. I know I am mature, and looking my age is something I do not try to avoid. Every wrinkle I develop is a testimony of my life. Every single crease tells its own story, every joy every pain every loss every gain. I look "so old" because I am and I have no grouses about that. With great gratitude to my Creator I enjoy what He still grant me to enjoy, good food, good life Alhamdulillah. In fact I need not look at myself to feel old. I look at my children growing everyday, into better persons, taking full responsibility as sons and daughters and brothers and sisters. Every struggle I make to provide for them, to get them back on track with their education and to build their self esteem which was almost completely demolished is a reminder that I am ageing. I realise it is a responsibility God has placed on my shoulders which I have carried and will continue to carry with joy. I ask for nothing back except to see them happy and successful in their own right.
Am I bitter? Again i thank you for probing into my thoughts and mind, asking me to revisit my real intentions for each of my actions. People need that sometimes.
So thank you dear sender. I really appreciate what you have done. May God bless you.

FATHER IN A MILLION

I bet many children who have lost their mother long for a father who love them this much. Perhaps the father has refrained from remarrying for fear that the incumbent may not be able to love his children with all her heart.
Many studies have been carried out on the effects of positive father child relationships. Whilst mother child relationship is important, findings of these studies unanimously show the positive impact of loving father-child relationships on children development.
Surely thse kids will grow to be wholesome adults.

I hope Star will soon feature a Muslim father who is as noble. I knew a few when I was much younger. One of them was my father's cousin, whom after the death of his wife raised his children single handed until they were all successful in their own right. Then only did he worry about looking for a new wife.

the link to this article is here

SUPERDAD DOES IT ALL ON HIS OWN

By YENG AI CHUN

KEPALA BATAS: He runs a 4ha vegetable farm, takes care of his two young children, cooks and does all the household chores.

Farmer Tiu Seng Nyap, 37, is something of a “superdad” to his daughter, Chien Hua, seven, and five-year-old son Chu Yin, assuming the roles of both father and mother since his wife's death in 2002.

His day starts at 6am when he prepares breakfast for Chien Hua before taking her to school. Then he tends to his farm in Pinang Tunggal, supervises his workers and returns home at around 8am to prepare breakfast for Chu Yin before packing him off to kindergarten.

With the farm just outside their house, he is back to work until noon when he buys lunch and brings the children home.

When the children do their homework, he goes back to farming, returning later to cook dinner.

“Dinner is just a simple meal with three dishes, mostly vegetables plucked from the farm. After that, I will tackle the household chores and only go to bed around 10pm.”

Tiu said his sister used to help out at home until she got married in December.

“I found myself cooking, washing and caring for my children while running the farm. Things have turned out all right so far and I’m very proud of my children as they are very well behaved,” he added.

Tiu said his wife Bock Kooi Nee died from womb infection just two months after giving birth to Chu Yin. He was then working as a salesman and often travelled out-of-state.

The family had a pleasant surprise when Penang Wanita MCA chief Ooi Siew Kim led a delegation to visit them at their Pinang Tunggal home on Saturday in conjunction with the Fathers Day celebration.

The women brought along a cake, school bags, stationery sets, chang (dumplings) and durians for the children.

“Wanita MCA recognises Tiu's sacrifices as a single father and we want to give him as much support as possible,” said Ooi.

another day at the courts

Last Monday was another day at the Syariah Court for me. I have been going through life without any hitches lately. Everything well laid out. My chaotic days set in a pattern, well planned in every aspect to ensure that the paramount need of my children are covered - EDUCATION.
It was a cruel awakening when i received this letter, delivered to my son by hand.
It said:
Perkara di atas yang ditetapkan untuk sebutan pada 11 hb Jun 2007, jam 9.00 pagi adalah dirujuk.
Puan adalah diberi notis agar menghadirkan diri ke Mahkamah tersebut di atas pada tarikh dan masa yang dinyatakan. Sila ambil maklum bahawa sekiranya puan gagal berbuat sedemikian, kami memohon agar waran tangkap dikeluarkan ke atas Puan.
Translated:
The above matter which has been set for hearing on 11th June 2007, 9am is hereby referred.
You are hereby, given notice to present your self before the abovementioned Court on the specified date and time. Kindly be informed that should you fail to do so, we shall request for an arrest warrant to be released against you.
Now that isn't very kind, is it?
Is it really necessary to arrest me?
It just mind boggles me.

So my beautifully laid out plan for the week had to be relaid out..just a bit..and off to court i went..:-).
No worries..you just got to do what you got to do..
And I always am thankful for this odd trips I have to make to the court as it teaches me humility and gratitude for all the things that I have. It just makes me realise that you can plan so much, but it is up to Him. And it reminds me of the Ultimate Court we would have to face in the hereafter.

THE TRIP TO THE ZOO

A week of the school holidays has slipped through my fingers like sand and all I did with my kids was take them to the movies. I was never a fan of the "Pirates" series, but i went anyways. No regrets there..for one, Orlando Bloom is soooooo cute ;-)
But i wanted to do something more interactive with the kids. Something which we all can chat as we go along..experience new things, that sort of thing...but at a reasonable price, of course..
So..why not ...the ZOO!!!
i decided to be as comfortable as possible..It’s going to be sunny, can’t risk ageing faster than i already am ..so i slathered on some sunblock, slathered blobs on my babies..it’s going to be humid, so i put on my old t a cotton sweat absorbing skirt and the best footwear in the world....the "selipar jepun" a.k.a its glamour name the flip flops.. The kids can be as comfortable as they want..so i just let them pick their own attire, well, it’s always like that with muaz anyways..if he decides to wear pjs in the daytime, that’s what he will do ..so why argue. But thank God he chose something reasonable..

It was wonderful to just let the little ones take the lead and I just followed.
We really took our time to "smell the roses (elephant's pooh)". I have been to the zoo many times, in the past, but never with this resolve. As a result, it was as if I went with a new pair of eyes. There was no hurry, no one else to please except ourselves. So we walked, stopped to look at things i never noticed in the past, like how there are actually many species of bird in the lake..like storks, pelicans etc etc. Like you just need to look above among the leaves of the many trees to find storks relaxing on the branches. We had a great time counting the birds and identifying the different species. And in the past we never noticed the size of the animal's pooh.."Besarnya poo poo gajah!" We read the captions on the animals. We reached out to touch the friendlier animals. We saw the tortoise whose best friend is a crocodile and a Tapir who was so lazy he was chewing while he was sleeping..
It was sad to see the bird house closed..apparently for breeding, but who can tell..and the ape house looked so sad and lonely. Even the penguins seemed like the saddest penguins I have ever seen. The animal show also could have been better. I wonder what the problem is. It is really sad to see such a wonderful place deteriorate in this manner. Is it lack of funds? What is it...
I wish something can be done to make the zoo a better place for both the animals and the visitors..animals reside in a very special part in my heart. And all my children, thank God, are animal lovers too. If I have time, i don't mind sitting all day seeing the antics of the monkeys. I wish something can be done...
I once dreamt that one day when i am really rich, i would spend my free time not sipping coffee in la bodega, but showering or feeding the animals in the zoo...perhaps..one day..on days i don’t work with teens ..