THis iS My LEgacY

When there is divorce there's bound to be bitterness, heartache and animosity. My relationship with my ex-mother in law was very much like mother and daughter. It wasn't me..it was just her. She was a warm and loving person who embraced anyone who walked into her life. Regardless of race or religion. It was an honour to be her daughter in law. I know how her heart broke when my marriage ended. We were still in communication during the last leg of my marriage. She tried her best to help us make amends yet committed to still be by my side if I decided to unravel my marriage vows. And that was exactly what she did. But I did not want to create a rift between her and her son and his new bride.I realised how hard it was for her to balance between supporting me and her son. I concluded that by taking me out of the equation, the task to reconcile with her new daughter in law will be made easier. Her new daughter in law also will not need to work so hard to figure out how to strategise to make me look like the crook :), Hence, I decided to stay away. I had to sever ties so that there will be no reason for the new forged relationship to weaken in any way. And part of the reason, was also selfish, I was too tired of being accused of many things I did not do, by certain factions. I just wanted to move on.

There's a malay saying which goes- "to swallow will cause the child's death, while to spit out will cause the father's death,". Such was the situation my ex-mother in law was in.

Reconciliation was made and I achieved my objective. But on her death, I had to contribute the final deed for her. To pray for her and do whatever I can to ease the burdens of her children. Cutting the pandan leaves, tying the last knot of her shroud..anything else. I realise how much I love her, and I know she loved me back after knowing each other for more that 20 years. I just hope, that from where she is now, she knows that.