Saturday, February 11, 2006


There are friends whom you meet every day of your life, or who are around you all the time. You bump into them all the time, as if they are permanent features of your life tapestry. There are friends whom you meet so ocassionally, that there are pockets of time when they just slip off your memory bank. But there are friends whom you hardly see, maybe once a year if you are lucky, but remain etched in your memory and carved out in your heart and form invisible pillars in your life, who help prop you up when you are down. Throughout my adversity, I am blessed with friends like that. One stand out, because, she was a mere acquaintance, a good friend of my sister's and almost a daughter to my parents, but she pushed the doors to my heart, and became my friend when i was really down and almost completely out. When i had nothing, when i was scraping for daily bread and many whom i thought were friends left me, but she came, and loan me her hand and her shoulder to cry on. She cried for me, when many whom i thought were friends clapped at my saga. She embraced me tightly and told me that she cared and her prayers are always with me and that God is Great and He loves me. She stayed by my side and just chatted with me. And once in a while, my phone would ring and i would here that cheerful, "Hi Kak Shaki, How are you Kak?". And she would spend hours of her precious time talking and chatting to me on her handphone, even if it was a long distance call. But I will not be blessed with that call anymore. Yesterday at noon, Erni was called back to Allah. Throughout my pain and sorrow, i could feel her presence. Erni had her own adversity. She had brain tumour, but she was so full of life. She made me feel so comfortable just telling her what i feel, without her judging me, or making me feel small. She made me forget that she was in a worse predicament than i was, when i was about to lose the custodianship of my children, she was about to lose her life, and her children were about to lose her permanently, but she loan me her ears and her wisdom helped me get through that calamity. What would i do withour you, Erni. And i was unable to even be by your side, or even go and visit you before you were returned to God's earth where we all came from. Little do you know that those calls i got, were those which i looked forward to, those which gave me back my zest for life and my faith in truth and justice. I will not get those calls again; ever. I have no gift left for you, Erni, but my prayers. And my prayers for your children and your ever faithful husband, may Allah grant them strength. And I love you more than any words can say. May Allah convey this message to you. May Allah grant me strength and light, for one of my candles have already been blown out.