Saturday, May 31, 2008


"Mom, you’re lazy and stupid and ugly”, Mary said to her mom smiling a cheeky smile. Then she disapeared into the hall where the rest of the family were sitting, waiting for her to serve lunch

Maggie’s tears trickled down her cheeks. She wiped it off while she stirred her curry..
She could hear her husband Willy’s laughter...

Mary appeared again, “Dad said you are ugly and fat and slow,” the five year old puffy cheeked china doll appeared again, and off she went in a puff.

Maggie told herself, she doesn’t know what she is saying. She is too young to understand that it is not a joke. Mary was terribly close to her dad, the youngest and the favourite among the four children he sired with her. Tears fell like rain, as she wrestled to stop it, stifling the sobs that was battling to escape her throat. She must get lunch ready. She beat herself up for being such and incompetent wife and mother, who can't even make sure that lunch is served on time.

It's ok, she told herself, this is just an ephemeral world..when she dies, she will pay to enter heaven’s gate with her patience, and there everything will be perfect. Willy will love her just as much as she loves him, everything will be fine. It was said that this world is fleeting..compared to the hereafter, so she shall brace herself to face the worst here, for a better life there....

Lunch went uneventfully, with no one talking at the table, except Willy pointing out that the food was tasteless and telling everyone to close their mouths while eating.

“Tomorrow, you get Mary ready. I am taking her with me,” he said with a tone, which no one dared to challenge.

“Where to? just her? What about the boys?,” Mom asked.

“Just get her ready..” Willy said and got up to leave the table..


Mary hugged her mom, and clambered into the 4WD. She was quiet for a long time, until the car turned in a direction which was completely unfamiliar to her. “Where are we going, Dad?", she asked quietly...

“I am taking you to meet someone," he said looking at her with a tender smile. .

She looked at him, and felt a funny tiny sensation in her gut.

They turned around a final corner and she saw a woman waiting by the street. Daddy stopped and told her to climb to the back. The lady climbed in. Her lips painted scarlet..that was the first thing Mary noticed. Her eyes were heavily made up deep blue. Her cheekbones stained pink. The sweet smell of her perfume filled every nook and cranny of the car, and Mary’s nostrils, nauseating her. She must be pretty to Daddy's eyes. "Hi, you must be Mary,” she said as her red lips stretched into a smile. Want to come and sit with me? Mary knew she had to be polite, so she smiled and shook her head.

“This is Auntie Naddy, Mary..." Daddy turned around and smiled a brilliant smile. It was obvious that daddy was very happy, a certain kind of light seemed to gleam in his eyes. When was the last time she saw that gleam? It was so long ago, those days when he used to bring her and the rest of the family for holidays or for a good meal at a posh restaurant. It was almost like a dream. She has almost forgotten it ever she knows, Naddy.stole it..
Mary saw daddy’s hand slip across the hand brakes seeking for Naddy's. The tiny flutter in her gut, stirred again, a little more violently this time...can he do that? Something wasn't right. She somehow knew instinctively, this act was completely misplaced.

Daddy's hand found Naddy's and she saw him carressing her fingers while she carressed his. Mary felt a lump in her throat..but something told her to be silent. She felt like crying but the tears all seem to be stuck in her throat. The road began to climb...she wanted to ask where they were taking her, but she couldn't. She didn’t want to go with them, she just wanted to go home to Mom...finally they stopped. Mary could see a few Fairy’s Wheel and a Merry Go Roiund with horses...and a myriad of other rides. They climbed out of the car..Daddy held her hand, while Naddy took the other..."People must think she's your daughter..she's so pretty like you, " she heard her Daddy say and Naddy giggled, she couldn't look at them anymore. She felt so betrayed. Why? She didn’t know. Later, they put her on the merry go round while they waited for her on the ground..when her horse spun to the place where they were standing, she could see daddy hugging Naddy.. the flutter in her gut now became a violent stir. Her entire gut felt like pouring out onto the merry go round floor, along with her tears.

Just as the wrenching twist in her gut became unbearable, everything stopped.. Mary felt nothing..numb....

The rest was a blurr..

She walked with them, but registered nothing...

When she reached home, she neither smiled nor laughed nor cried..she hugged her mom dutifully. but did not cling with affection like she used to. She was silent..she saw mom's tear stained face but did not feel sorry anymore. She untangled herself and went straight up to change and laid awake for a long time in bed..

Friday, May 30, 2008

Muaz and Huzaifah's Space Oddysey

They took a box which once housed a TV, coloured the wings with crayon, even did a dashboard with the polystyrene..and they're off to space....

The creativity of babies..i just have to immortalise it.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Reverend Countess Shakirah the Intractable of Gallop Hophill
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title


The clock struck 11 again. The hour of bliss. He will be here soon. He is always on the dot, plus or minus two minutes. This is the hour she looks forward to every single day seven days a week, there's no holiday, no weekends, no annual leave, except for the times when he had to go away, out of state or out of the country. But even so he will call without fail and they will spend at least a few minutes to renew their vows and their love for one another. Just a few minutes to revitalise the very rare innate connection which they felt only they had.

The first time they met, they could almost pre-empt what the other was going to say. She could sense his sadness even if he was laughing boisterously pretending that everything was fly and he too could do the same. When she thought of him, within seconds he would call and they would chat about absolutely nothing for hours. In fact, whenever she was down or upset, that was the exact time he would call and the sun would peak through the clouds again and everything would turn around and be well again. She would know he was out of town, even before he told her.

11 was an implied agreement between them. No express promises were made, he would just be there rain or shine. Every time he sent her home after their rendezvous, the moment the car turned the corner near her home, she felt a deep sinking in her heart. She never spoke a word about it, neither did she plan to. But one night the words just bubbled out of her lips..”Every time we reach this corner, I feel really sad,” she said, looking out the car window, not daring to look at him. She felt like tearing her tongue and lips apart for betraying her.. " too," came the almost unintelligible reply...she dared herself to turn and look at him. And when their eyes met, their implied agreement was signed in blood. She wanted to just crumble into his arms, but that was totally unacceptable. So she braced herself until they reached her home. Before she melted, she said a hurried thank you for the lovely drink and ran off into her house.

From that moment on, every day at 11 pm he would be there to spend time with her. They would take a ride through town, go for drinks and sit in their crib for a chat. That was the time when they could be themselves, she was his sounding board, a place he could just bare open his problems and cry if he wanted to. He knew she would understand and sometimes she would even have the answers. She also could do the same. It was their time, in their little bubble, when the whole world was a distant dream.. they cried they laughed and acted stupid together ..those few hours every single day. 11pm gave them a reason to go through the entire day just to taste the bliss of the hour...11 pm washed their souls from the pains of the day’s reality. 11pm got them ready to face the next day with renewed dreams.. and tonight, just like every other night..she waits for her 11 pm.. all made up and ready to greet him...

“Hello auntie...are you ready? Oh you look beautiful tonight"

“He’s almost I look alright?” she smiled at the nurse who helped her up from the couch and handed her walking frame.

"You look lovely, Auntie."

“Come let’s brush your hair..make it nice and shiny.?" The nurse said kindly, as she ran the comb through her thinning hair which was almost all white now.

The nurse helped put her feet up and pulled the blanket over her sometimes gets chilly at night, even if the summer days are scorching..."If I fall asleep, please wake me up when he arrives, ok?"

“Sure auntie..good night”

“Goodnight. Dear..I never told anyone that I love him and always will...”

The nurse smiled turned off the lights.

She sighed...That completed her ritual in room 104.

And she braced herself for the ritual in the next lonely room of the Nursing Home for the Aged.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Pre Breakfast Foreplay

He sat down on the bed and gave me the most loving look I have seen in a long time. I have been so busy, it's been quite a while since we had spent some time together. I found his longing permeating across the room too much to resist. Admitting defeat, I walked across , lay down next to him and held out my arm. His piercing look touched the very core of my heart. Ahhh I am truly defeated and happy to be too. The day’s chores stretching out before me slowly melted into oblivion along with his dilating pupils in his light coloured eyes. When he's like this..I am almost certain that he loves me with all his heart...He moved closer to rest his head on my arm while his ‘hand’ reached out to touch my shoulder ever so lightly. Ahh moments like this are so rare these days.

I reminisced about how it all began. It’s been almost three years since I’ve known him. I am certain it wasn’t really love at first sight even though I am generally smittens by the likes of him . He had such an attitude and I thought he doesn’t even look that good. Those days he used to snap easily and was ready to take revenge with a vengeace even on small matters like touching him on the wrong spot. But when i found out about his congenital heart problem, and that he acted like that due to the discomfort he experienced, my compassion eventually gave way to 'lurve' .

But he has changed so much now. His turning point was the day KT and Zara found him struggling to breathe, and we hurried him to the hospital. He was in the ICU for three whole days, leaving us worried about whether he was going to pull through. It was then that we found out about his ailment. He was born with a heart too small for his size.

When we brought him home, he reformed..Of course he still snaps when you really touch him on the wrong spot, but now I know what to avoid, it doesn't happen too often ...and now with him on my arm..i feel like the whole world is at my feet...sigh...

Then as we were both about to doze off...”Makan makan makan (Eat,eat, eat)” Zara’s breakfast call rang through the house....he pricked his ears and in a flash..jumped off the bed to join his fellow felines for their breakfast..and just like that ..he was gone again for the day...

Figaro..I love you :-).

Friday, May 02, 2008

A slice of tale

Maya’s sweat broke into beads on her forehead; funny however, that she’s feeling cold. She felt the numbness creep from her toes up to her ankles, slowly moving up to her knees. Her entire body ached, she didn’t know what to do..she decided to pull the covers over her head. But that amplified the sound of her drumming heart and made her already labourious breathing even more difficult. She changed her mind. She dared not turn her back to the window, nor does she dare turn toward it. Dared not sleep on her back, nor on her tummy, because Granny said that is how the bad spirits sleep and doing that would be an open invitation to them.

She heard it again a high pitched cackle which seemed to last for hours but probably was only for a few seconds..and it died off slowly. Then it was dead silence. The comforting humm of cars passing through the highway which can be seen from her bedroom window ceased by 2.30am. Just as the silence began to lull her to sleep..the cackle began again, and each time it did, it seemed to be getting closer to her window.

Even the clock appeared to be in cohorts with the cackler, by ticking ever so slowly. It’s now only half past three. It won’t be another 3 hours, at least, before the cockerel in the neighbour’s yard would cock a doodle doo, about the same time the army barracks would sound its morning horn to wake its inhabitants...another three whole hours before the world would come to life and the sound that wouldn't stop teasing her, would allow her to continue her slumber.