Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice

A couple of days ago was an exciting day for me. I didn't realise my blog on "My bestfriend's birthday" could stir up such scorn among certain individuals in such a manner which i never intended in the first place. I occassion to write if Allah Almighty has decided to grant me time to write dare I argue with Him...
I just feel obligated to clarify that I have been brought up in a family where forgiveness is a forte, respected and loved. After all, God promises a gargantuan manor in the hereafter when one forgives. My parents are loving and forgiving people. Besides that, I was also raised in a family where peace and love is of greatest value. Never pick a fight with people. If people pick a fight with you...let it go..let God take care of it, Babah would say.
Hence my "My bestfriend's birthday" posting was an attempt to lay it down in writing, that Regardless of my eventual decision to jump ship, the responsibility of raising the beautiful souls we brought to this earth can be shouldered by both parties, the mom( me) and the dad (kids' dad)in a positive manner in the spirit of forgiveness and peace. My marriage with the children's dad is HISTORY, regardless of how hard he stamps his feet and bang the ground and contest the 'lafaz' spirit..the matrimony is null and void..non existent..kaput..zilch. While,I am using all my efforts and resources to ensure that this goes thru legally. But it doesn't mean we can't rise above our personal puny self indulgences and silly pride and be honourable enough to keep our friendship intact for the sakes of the children. But then again, on second thoughts, i know i have risen above that, so those who want to stay down, kindly stay out of my realm..

Initially, I was rather foolishly disturbed when I was accused of "Gila Talak" due to my posting..that I had to call my ever faithful Sounding Board brother to just get his opinion on whether i sound like i was pining for my X. Bro, your reply.."dicey..." made me jump out of my skin..i couldn't get hold of the puter i was like as the malay saying goes "mother cat in labour"..because that was not my intention at all. I needed to get my hands on my blog..i needed to read it again..and eventually when i did..phew!!! It didn't sound like that at all..but then again, yes..any writings can be open to innumerous amount of interpretation..there isalways 360 ways to look at anything..
Hence as much as my blog is my domain, my realm, my RIGHT to express myself, to create a legacy for my babies; it IS also the right of my audience to form their assumptions and interpretations on it. Critique is ALWAYS good.

Regardless of whose toes i step on, nothing will stop me from writing what i feel and conveying whatever message i wish to. Life has never been better, Praise Allah we are still standing tall..intact as a family..provided generously by God.
So if you want to read this..swallow it..
Once read..if it isn't palatable..spit it out..
There's always the comments button to press if you have anything worthy to say..but then again, REMEMBER?..this is MY DOMAIN..i choose what i want to read or publish.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't
be trapped by dogma ? which is living with the results of other people's
thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner
voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and
intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.

~Excert from the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple
Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios,
delivered on June 12, 2005