Sunday, March 08, 2009
FRIEND FOR A SEASON
Whenever I lament about being hurt, I am told that it is up to us to choose how we respond to life's challenges.It is how we respond emotionally and mentally that create either suffering or joy.
I was told feeling hurt is not necessary..I just need to 'Be'..These after all are illusions
The person who told me this used to be a shoulder to cry on, and the person whom I have trusted with everything that I have..my memories, my stories, my life. But this friend has transcended to a level of awareness beyond my perception. She is now invincible. Nothing hurts her anymore andtherefore, nothing she does SHOULD hurt anyone. After all these are all illusions.
In my quest for some semblance of truth in this whole fiasco of lies, I found this.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
In my position, I have no right to claim deceipt, but I vow to love my friend all the same. Surely, this friend is a reflection of me, one way or the other. I learnt from this that being aware, being free from the the illussions of life, being a transcended individual, does not justify anyone the right to hurt others, whether by speech, deed or even thought. I want so much to think well of you and thank you for the season we had together. May all your seasons be even better than the ones we have had.
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17 comments:
At one time I used to be so scared of people-get so hurt all the time. I still do-but now I also realise the hurt I cause (This quality I always had to an extent but now I am more aware of this ...).
In this journey, you, my sweet friend, taught me so much about compassion-about being non-judgmental and thus my life is richer-more full of love.
So many people come into our lives-so many that I wonder how I will ever turn back to thank them.
The ones who hurt, I sometimes wish for closure...
Maybe it wont be and it still gnaws its ugly way into the soul...
When I first got divorced, I was in a very sad place. I had really isolated myself for years while I was married and had very few friends left. When my ex left, slowly a few people came in to my life that were my best friends; they were like sisters to me and I have no idea how I would have gotten through those rough years without them. Unfortunately, 2 of them showed their true colors and abruptly left my life. It hurt but I knew they were sent to me when I needed the comfort of their friendship. Then God opened another door and sent me Breen. Now I'm getting married tomorrow to my truest best friend I could ever ask for. I'm no longer resentful or bitter for those losses. Instead, I'm grateful that I had them for the time I did.
Jane
Hi sis,
dah lama tak singgah. as usual, one of your "wise" life's lessons post.
sorry had to log off suddenly tadi, pakcik tu tetiba nak beli carpet (mimpi ;0)...i had to rush and pick-up sakinah too.
Hey Gita...
Bila mau buat DHALL TURKA....AND GULAB JAMUN...we're still waiting, right, kak shaki? When your Honey aka Madhu Piyara out of town, give us a buzz, we won't let you eat the dhall alone...hehe
book of verse jug of wine loaf of bread....and thou singing in the wilderness. who is thou? must be a good friend. he who find his 'thou' must be very blessed indeed...no problem, no care, nothing matters
Amboi ulaq,
bukan main lagi poetic ek...pantang ade makwe cun jer dia jadik poetic...
Thanks for visiting sistas and bradas.
Gita I learn so much from you and especially from your honesty. Being malay you are taught to hide behind a facade, but communicating with you inspires me to be more transparent..hopefully as nicely as you are.
Jane, you are my inspiration. I feel myself engulfed in joy when I read about your wedding to Breen. You are such a beautiful soul and hence the beautiful soul to match you.
Tehsin, tak wise sangat. Tengah rasa jilted, deceived...so i write and try to pick out stuff that can comfort me and encourage me to work from love instead of anger and revenge..my only outlet
Snake ni misti baya anak2 I ni..the poetry is lovely, Snake. But I am hopeless at poetry unless it is explicit, less I terperasan kodok, you know..like it has never happened before.... macam bodo gitu. So I avoid assuming the meaning at all cost. I can appreciate the words though..it is beautiful. I love especially your post on Layla and Majnun
what would you do when the reason a person is in your life.. for you to know both love and pain.when the person has become the reason for you to change everything, to totally dismantle your life and try to let go or try to move on?
baya anak u? he he. i dah nak masuk usia warga emas laa.
niway, poem tu from rubayyat umar kayyam. makna dia bergantung pada inteprasi masing2 but it is about being blissfully contented.
ar-rimau,
ni makwe? dia cun eh?
tanduk i dah nak kuor ni,
heh heh
tak lah, actually what makes me take notice is the mention of The One Love that is within us in the comments to lanun jack's blog and the mention of rubayyat umar kayyam kat favourite books. sounds like a seeker of the ultimate reality. readers of such books are rare just like visitors to ankh-morpok.
ankh-morpok- i heven't read Discworld..i attempted The Thief of Time..after the rave reviews from many publications but abandoned it after the first few pages..couldn't make sense of it.
Now I stick to Deepak Chopra ..keen to read the Third Jesus..It jumped out at me when I was walking through the aisles in Kino..but I resisted..too much work.
hahaha
not everybody leh tahan dgn ankh-morpok, cuba try 'good omens'. yg tu senang paham.tapi tak kelakar sgt la to me. 'sourcery' pun ok gak.
jalaludin rumi eh?
here's where rumi mentioned a snake in his mathnavi
Once a thief from a catcher, a snake stole
His prize, with ignorance, praise, and extol.
The catcher was thus relieved from its bite
Killed the thief, the killer snake, with fright.
The catcher came upon that familiar sight
Said, "my snake with life, has made this right.
I prayed for life, for my own sake
And what I found was none but snake.
Praise that my prayer was nullified
Gainful was the loss I identified.
We pray many times for loss and demise
With grace won’t hear Infinite Wise."
mmg betul, kadang kadang tu kehilangan satu benda tu adalah merupakan kebaikan pada kita. kadang kadang tu benda yang kita nak sangat tu tak baik bagi kita.
snake...
u are so well read lah.maybe what we want is not good for us but the problem is that's what we want...i always believe god works in mysterious ways.kita je tak nampak kadang-kadang tu or pretend not to see
I couldn't understand it fully, or as deeply as you, the person who arites this. Especially the first part. And now I'm quite confused when you have dismissed the one about "the illusions".
Anyway, this one about "people coming into your life" - this is something new for me... I've never thought of it along this line before. This is an insight that I'll be thinking about... maybe it will just dissolve; or maybe something will click, and expand into something else that helps with my own understanding and acceptance of things.
But whatever, your writing is tight here and gripping - you know a lot about certain things. I'm trying to reconcile and align some basic aspects of what I think to be true with that of yours, and perhaps something positive will come of it.
Hi! I guess cyber space is another world where interaction is behind coded name where reality returns at the shutdown of the computer. I don't have any particular blogs that I followed and quite content by just cruising and landing anywhere I feel interesting.Meeting and losing people are part of life. In reading blogs most of the times I know something about people just by reading what they wrote. Most are reflection of them, their life experiences and their perception of life and anything that interest the writer. In real life we are more restrained and unfortunately its sometimes difficult to really get to know someone in the real world. Not many of us knows our neighbors, our colleagues or even family members.
So when someone comes into our life take the opportunity to interact and build relationship for as long as we can. The rest we leave it to the almighty. Life is simple and sweet. Remember good things, forget bad things and learn something.
Thank you Jebat. Agree without a doubt that we should remember the good and forget the bad.
Sometimes what is bad for us is best for us..hence the best attitude is always gratitude, knowing that good or bad, it is for our own good.
Thank you for your encouraging words, Mat. It is just my lamentation over issues I was facing around that time when I wrote it. Writing gives me clarity..and helps me forgive and move on.
Most times what I write isn't what I set out to do..it is as if it comes from my subconscious..so it becomes cathartic.
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