Mary

"Mom, you’re lazy and stupid and ugly”, Mary said to her mom smiling a cheeky smile. Then she disapeared into the hall where the rest of the family were sitting, waiting for her to serve lunch

Maggie’s tears trickled down her cheeks. She wiped it off while she stirred her curry..
She could hear her husband Willy’s laughter...

Mary appeared again, “Dad said you are ugly and fat and slow,” the five year old puffy cheeked china doll appeared again, and off she went in a puff.

Maggie told herself, she doesn’t know what she is saying. She is too young to understand that it is not a joke. Mary was terribly close to her dad, the youngest and the favourite among the four children he sired with her. Tears fell like rain, as she wrestled to stop it, stifling the sobs that was battling to escape her throat. She must get lunch ready. She beat herself up for being such and incompetent wife and mother, who can't even make sure that lunch is served on time.

It's ok, she told herself, this is just an ephemeral world..when she dies, she will pay to enter heaven’s gate with her patience, and there everything will be perfect. Willy will love her just as much as she loves him, everything will be fine. It was said that this world is fleeting..compared to the hereafter, so she shall brace herself to face the worst here, for a better life there....

Lunch went uneventfully, with no one talking at the table, except Willy pointing out that the food was tasteless and telling everyone to close their mouths while eating.

“Tomorrow, you get Mary ready. I am taking her with me,” he said with a tone, which no one dared to challenge.

“Where to? just her? What about the boys?,” Mom asked.

“Just get her ready..” Willy said and got up to leave the table..

~~~~~*~~~~~

Mary hugged her mom, and clambered into the 4WD. She was quiet for a long time, until the car turned in a direction which was completely unfamiliar to her. “Where are we going, Dad?", she asked quietly...

“I am taking you to meet someone," he said looking at her with a tender smile. .

She looked at him, and felt a funny tiny sensation in her gut.

They turned around a final corner and she saw a woman waiting by the street. Daddy stopped and told her to climb to the back. The lady climbed in. Her lips painted scarlet..that was the first thing Mary noticed. Her eyes were heavily made up deep blue. Her cheekbones stained pink. The sweet smell of her perfume filled every nook and cranny of the car, and Mary’s nostrils, nauseating her. She must be pretty to Daddy's eyes. "Hi, you must be Mary,” she said as her red lips stretched into a smile. Want to come and sit with me? Mary knew she had to be polite, so she smiled and shook her head.

“This is Auntie Naddy, Mary..." Daddy turned around and smiled a brilliant smile. It was obvious that daddy was very happy, a certain kind of light seemed to gleam in his eyes. When was the last time she saw that gleam? It was so long ago, those days when he used to bring her and the rest of the family for holidays or for a good meal at a posh restaurant. It was almost like a dream. She has almost forgotten it ever existed...now she knows, Naddy.stole it..
Mary saw daddy’s hand slip across the hand brakes seeking for Naddy's. The tiny flutter in her gut, stirred again, a little more violently this time...can he do that? Something wasn't right. She somehow knew instinctively, this act was completely misplaced.

Daddy's hand found Naddy's and she saw him carressing her fingers while she carressed his. Mary felt a lump in her throat..but something told her to be silent. She felt like crying but the tears all seem to be stuck in her throat. The road began to climb...she wanted to ask where they were taking her, but she couldn't. She didn’t want to go with them, she just wanted to go home to Mom...finally they stopped. Mary could see a few Fairy’s Wheel and a Merry Go Roiund with horses...and a myriad of other rides. They climbed out of the car..Daddy held her hand, while Naddy took the other..."People must think she's your daughter..she's so pretty like you, " she heard her Daddy say and Naddy giggled, she couldn't look at them anymore. She felt so betrayed. Why? She didn’t know. Later, they put her on the merry go round while they waited for her on the ground..when her horse spun to the place where they were standing, she could see daddy hugging Naddy.. the flutter in her gut now became a violent stir. Her entire gut felt like pouring out onto the merry go round floor, along with her tears.

Just as the wrenching twist in her gut became unbearable, everything stopped.. Mary felt nothing..numb....

The rest was a blurr..

She walked with them, but registered nothing...

When she reached home, she neither smiled nor laughed nor cried..she hugged her mom dutifully. but did not cling with affection like she used to. She was silent..she saw mom's tear stained face but did not feel sorry anymore. She untangled herself and went straight up to change and laid awake for a long time in bed..