Wonderful English From Around the World

In a Bangkok
temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

?

Cocktail
lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

?In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

?

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

?

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

?

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

??

Tokyo hotel's
rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE? CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND

SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST
CAMPING SITE THAT

PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER

IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

?

Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE

SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS

PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

The Secret

I was hit by Attention Deficit Disorder again..and went blog hopping. Paid a visit to one of those blogs I used to visit some time back - *
Dying Man's Daily Journal and found this Gem..he said in his post to pass it on..so here I am passing it on:


One day, one friend asked another,
‘How is it that you are always so happy?
You have so much energy,
And you never seem to get down.’


With her eyes smiling, she said,
‘I know the Secret!’
‘What secret is that?’
To which she replied,
‘I’ll tell you all about it,
But you have to promise to
Share the Secret with others.’


‘The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do
In my life that will make me truly happy.
I must depend on God to make
Me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life,
I have to trust God to supply
According to HIS riches.
I have learned most of the time
I don’t need half of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
Since I learned that ‘Secret’, I am happy.’


The questioner’s first thought was,
‘That’s too simple!’
But upon reflecting over her own life
She recalled how she thought a bigger house
Would make her happy, but it didn’t!
She thought a better paying job
Would make her happy, but it hadn’t.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren,
Playing games, eating pizza or reading a story,
A simple gift from God.


Now you know it too!
We can’t depend on people to make us happy.
Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.
Trust HIM!
And now I pass the Secret on to you!
So once you get it, what will you do?

Ponder.....there is a 'Mother'

Free Stock Photos for websites - FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Imagine this scene if you will. Two babies are in utero confined to the wall of their mother's womb, and they are having a conversation. For the sake of clarity we'll call these twins Ego and Spirit.

Spirit says to Ego, "I know you are going to find this difficult to accept, but I truly believe there is life after birth."
Ego responds, "Don't be ridiculous. Look around you. This is all there is. Why must you always be thinking about something beyond this reality? Accept your lot inn life. Make your self comfortable and forget about all of this life-after-birth nonsense."

Spirit quiets down for a while, but her inner voice won't allow her to remain silent any longer. "Ego, now don't get mad, but I have something else to say. I also believe that there is a mother.

"A Mother!" Ego Guffaws. "How can you be so absurd? You've never seen a Mother. Why can't you accept that this is all there is? The idea of a Mother is crazy. You are here alone with me. This is your reality. Now grab hold of that cord. Go into your corner and stop being so silly. Trust me, there is no Mother."

Spirit reluctantly stops her conversation with Ego, but her restlessness gets the better of her. "Ego," she implores,"please listen without rejecting my idea. Somehow I think that those constant pressures we both feel, those movements that make us so uncomfortable sometimes, that continual re-positioing and all that closing in that seems to be taking place as we keep growing, is getting us ready for a place of glowing light, and we will experience it very soon."
"Now I know you are absolutely insane," replies Ego, "All you've ever known is darkness. You've never seen light. How can you even contemplate such an idea? Those movements and pressures you feel are your reality. You are a distinct separate being. This is your journey. Darkness and pressures and a closed in feeling are whatlife is all about. You'll have to fight it as long as you live. Now grab your cord and please stay still."
Spirit relaxes for a while, but finally she can contain herself no longer. "Ego, I have only one more thing to say and then I'll never bother you again."

"Go ahead, " Ego responds impatiently.
"I believe all of these pressures and all of this discomfort is not only going to bring us to a new celestial light, but when we experience it, we are going to meet Mother face to face and know and ecstasy beyond anything we have ever experienced up until now,"
"You are crazy, Spirit. Now I am truly convinced of it."

Excerpt from Your Sacred Self by Dr Wayne W Dyer.