friends for life

Just last week, my daughter had to make up some names for her school project. She was supposed to conduct a survey on income levels and career or something of that nature, and since I do not have many friends that I meet and we are like recluses in our area, she had to make some of her subjects up. Her tuition teacher warned her against making up Chinese names..because according to him..it will stick out like a sore thumb....the chinese would know... So she asked me to come up with my primary school friends’ names..I was glad quite a few of them rolled out smoothly on my tongue..but then there were some..which I just couldn't remember. I tried to picture them at their designated seats in Standard 6 Mawar Green Lane Convent 2..some seats were without occupants, some occupied by faceless girls, while others I couldn’t place a name to their faces. Some I just remembered their Christian names, while others, I had their names spinning somewhere at the tip of my conscious memory. I once vowed that I will never ever forget them..I remember how mom just smiled when I said that..because she knew that I would..
But my batch mates in Kulim, is a different story altogether. Having lived with them under one roof for five formative years (yes i consider those years formative, it formed my personality and general outlook about life), I hold these individuals close to my heart. These people I am positive I will never forget till the day I die. I keep telling my children, that it is these friends that you make in secondary school which will stay with you for life. Yes you will leave them behind for a while, move on, get on with your life, chase your dream, build a career, build a family..but one day, you will realise these are the friends that you read about in poetry and in quotable quotes. Who will be there for you when you are in need. All the idiosyncrasies which you despised when you were in school with them, will dissipate into thin air, and you will start to see only their best side. Even if you disliked them when you were in school, they have been so embodied into you that to pry them away will entail cutting bits and pieces of you away too, and you realise that you actually love them. I look forward to my reunions with them with glee. I mark the date weeks ahead and check the date again anda again less I forget or get confused. And inspite of the 30 odd years which lay between the time since we bade our last tearful farewells, the wrinkles that has formed on each and everyone of us, the hair loss (for the guys), the greying strands of hair, the extra flesh in odd places..I see them just as those 17 year old girls and boys I used to know. I love them with all my heart.
Last two weeks , we girls had a wonderful reunion at Ikea..not many came but enough to make our hearts glow to last us till the next reunion. It was grand to see ka..oops i mean Rani..so vogue and beautiful as ever. Liza brought along her cute baby girl who has grown so much from the last time I saw her. And of course Wan brought along her twin princess in their beautiful frilly dresses. My heart warmed to see my beloved friends..I am still carrying the good feeling of seeing them around until today. And when it gets chilly, I just need to look at these pictures and give one of them a buzz :-)

try nt 2 be so bitter, it already mk u look so old

Out of the blues today I received an sms in my phone just a moment ago. Among other things said to satisfy the heart of the sender was "Try not to be so bitter, it already make u look so old". It brought a smile to my lips which spread to my eyes and to my heart..and lo and behold add another wrinkle on this ‘old face’.
Thank you dear sender. It is a reminder I do not need from you. I know I am mature, and looking my age is something I do not try to avoid. Every wrinkle I develop is a testimony of my life. Every single crease tells its own story, every joy every pain every loss every gain. I look "so old" because I am and I have no grouses about that. With great gratitude to my Creator I enjoy what He still grant me to enjoy, good food, good life Alhamdulillah. In fact I need not look at myself to feel old. I look at my children growing everyday, into better persons, taking full responsibility as sons and daughters and brothers and sisters. Every struggle I make to provide for them, to get them back on track with their education and to build their self esteem which was almost completely demolished is a reminder that I am ageing. I realise it is a responsibility God has placed on my shoulders which I have carried and will continue to carry with joy. I ask for nothing back except to see them happy and successful in their own right.
Am I bitter? Again i thank you for probing into my thoughts and mind, asking me to revisit my real intentions for each of my actions. People need that sometimes.
So thank you dear sender. I really appreciate what you have done. May God bless you.

FATHER IN A MILLION

I bet many children who have lost their mother long for a father who love them this much. Perhaps the father has refrained from remarrying for fear that the incumbent may not be able to love his children with all her heart.
Many studies have been carried out on the effects of positive father child relationships. Whilst mother child relationship is important, findings of these studies unanimously show the positive impact of loving father-child relationships on children development.
Surely thse kids will grow to be wholesome adults.

I hope Star will soon feature a Muslim father who is as noble. I knew a few when I was much younger. One of them was my father's cousin, whom after the death of his wife raised his children single handed until they were all successful in their own right. Then only did he worry about looking for a new wife.

the link to this article is here

SUPERDAD DOES IT ALL ON HIS OWN

By YENG AI CHUN

KEPALA BATAS: He runs a 4ha vegetable farm, takes care of his two young children, cooks and does all the household chores.

Farmer Tiu Seng Nyap, 37, is something of a “superdad” to his daughter, Chien Hua, seven, and five-year-old son Chu Yin, assuming the roles of both father and mother since his wife's death in 2002.

His day starts at 6am when he prepares breakfast for Chien Hua before taking her to school. Then he tends to his farm in Pinang Tunggal, supervises his workers and returns home at around 8am to prepare breakfast for Chu Yin before packing him off to kindergarten.

With the farm just outside their house, he is back to work until noon when he buys lunch and brings the children home.

When the children do their homework, he goes back to farming, returning later to cook dinner.

“Dinner is just a simple meal with three dishes, mostly vegetables plucked from the farm. After that, I will tackle the household chores and only go to bed around 10pm.”

Tiu said his sister used to help out at home until she got married in December.

“I found myself cooking, washing and caring for my children while running the farm. Things have turned out all right so far and I’m very proud of my children as they are very well behaved,” he added.

Tiu said his wife Bock Kooi Nee died from womb infection just two months after giving birth to Chu Yin. He was then working as a salesman and often travelled out-of-state.

The family had a pleasant surprise when Penang Wanita MCA chief Ooi Siew Kim led a delegation to visit them at their Pinang Tunggal home on Saturday in conjunction with the Fathers Day celebration.

The women brought along a cake, school bags, stationery sets, chang (dumplings) and durians for the children.

“Wanita MCA recognises Tiu's sacrifices as a single father and we want to give him as much support as possible,” said Ooi.

another day at the courts

Last Monday was another day at the Syariah Court for me. I have been going through life without any hitches lately. Everything well laid out. My chaotic days set in a pattern, well planned in every aspect to ensure that the paramount need of my children are covered - EDUCATION.
It was a cruel awakening when i received this letter, delivered to my son by hand.
It said:
Perkara di atas yang ditetapkan untuk sebutan pada 11 hb Jun 2007, jam 9.00 pagi adalah dirujuk.
Puan adalah diberi notis agar menghadirkan diri ke Mahkamah tersebut di atas pada tarikh dan masa yang dinyatakan. Sila ambil maklum bahawa sekiranya puan gagal berbuat sedemikian, kami memohon agar waran tangkap dikeluarkan ke atas Puan.
Translated:
The above matter which has been set for hearing on 11th June 2007, 9am is hereby referred.
You are hereby, given notice to present your self before the abovementioned Court on the specified date and time. Kindly be informed that should you fail to do so, we shall request for an arrest warrant to be released against you.
Now that isn't very kind, is it?
Is it really necessary to arrest me?
It just mind boggles me.

So my beautifully laid out plan for the week had to be relaid out..just a bit..and off to court i went..:-).
No worries..you just got to do what you got to do..
And I always am thankful for this odd trips I have to make to the court as it teaches me humility and gratitude for all the things that I have. It just makes me realise that you can plan so much, but it is up to Him. And it reminds me of the Ultimate Court we would have to face in the hereafter.

THE TRIP TO THE ZOO

A week of the school holidays has slipped through my fingers like sand and all I did with my kids was take them to the movies. I was never a fan of the "Pirates" series, but i went anyways. No regrets there..for one, Orlando Bloom is soooooo cute ;-)
But i wanted to do something more interactive with the kids. Something which we all can chat as we go along..experience new things, that sort of thing...but at a reasonable price, of course..
So..why not ...the ZOO!!!
i decided to be as comfortable as possible..It’s going to be sunny, can’t risk ageing faster than i already am ..so i slathered on some sunblock, slathered blobs on my babies..it’s going to be humid, so i put on my old t a cotton sweat absorbing skirt and the best footwear in the world....the "selipar jepun" a.k.a its glamour name the flip flops.. The kids can be as comfortable as they want..so i just let them pick their own attire, well, it’s always like that with muaz anyways..if he decides to wear pjs in the daytime, that’s what he will do ..so why argue. But thank God he chose something reasonable..

It was wonderful to just let the little ones take the lead and I just followed.
We really took our time to "smell the roses (elephant's pooh)". I have been to the zoo many times, in the past, but never with this resolve. As a result, it was as if I went with a new pair of eyes. There was no hurry, no one else to please except ourselves. So we walked, stopped to look at things i never noticed in the past, like how there are actually many species of bird in the lake..like storks, pelicans etc etc. Like you just need to look above among the leaves of the many trees to find storks relaxing on the branches. We had a great time counting the birds and identifying the different species. And in the past we never noticed the size of the animal's pooh.."Besarnya poo poo gajah!" We read the captions on the animals. We reached out to touch the friendlier animals. We saw the tortoise whose best friend is a crocodile and a Tapir who was so lazy he was chewing while he was sleeping..
It was sad to see the bird house closed..apparently for breeding, but who can tell..and the ape house looked so sad and lonely. Even the penguins seemed like the saddest penguins I have ever seen. The animal show also could have been better. I wonder what the problem is. It is really sad to see such a wonderful place deteriorate in this manner. Is it lack of funds? What is it...
I wish something can be done to make the zoo a better place for both the animals and the visitors..animals reside in a very special part in my heart. And all my children, thank God, are animal lovers too. If I have time, i don't mind sitting all day seeing the antics of the monkeys. I wish something can be done...
I once dreamt that one day when i am really rich, i would spend my free time not sipping coffee in la bodega, but showering or feeding the animals in the zoo...perhaps..one day..on days i don’t work with teens ..

MOTHER'S DAY PICS..EVENTUALLY..

I have been up to my ears with work. Have been meaning to write, but never come around to it, until today.
Waited for weeks for my mother's day pics from my sister. And eventually I managed to get it from her camera. Since Umair has the family camera ( he brought it to Penang for his Gempak Selebriti ASTRO and then to Cyberjaya), I had to borrow Nani's camera for my zoo trip with the kids. She loaned me ever so reluctantly because I am known for my carelessness and clumsiness. But she loaned me anyway. Right after the trip, i rushed to the office to download them into my puter..But hey, it's a double bonus. We've got the Mother's day Pics and the Zoo pics all in one go :-). S
Can’t remember much, except it feels good to have lunch with Mom and the entire family.It is so fulfilling to see Mom beaming because we remembered to celebrate the special day.