My Ex-Mother In Law Passed Away

I won't be saying much, except that my ex-mother in law passed away early this morning. The reality hit me when I was there to help prepare for the funeral and when I saw with my own eyes her pale remains, as if in a deep peaceful sleep. I am still unable to diffuse the gamut of emotions which currently seem to feel like one big untidy knot in the very pit of my being; ranging from sadness to grief to fear to i don't know what..It is tough to figure this out on my own...I was able to be a pillar of support to others, but when it comes to me, I have to go it alone..but well and good..that is how it is meant to be. And thank God for my wonderful sister and my seven wonderful babies. I will post again when I feel better.