Out of the blues today I received an sms in my phone just a moment ago. Among other things said to satisfy the heart of the sender was "Try not to be so bitter, it already make u look so old". It brought a smile to my lips which spread to my eyes and to my heart..and lo and behold add another wrinkle on this ‘old face’.
Thank you dear sender. It is a reminder I do not need from you. I know I am mature, and looking my age is something I do not try to avoid. Every wrinkle I develop is a testimony of my life. Every single crease tells its own story, every joy every pain every loss every gain. I look "so old" because I am and I have no grouses about that. With great gratitude to my Creator I enjoy what He still grant me to enjoy, good food, good life Alhamdulillah. In fact I need not look at myself to feel old. I look at my children growing everyday, into better persons, taking full responsibility as sons and daughters and brothers and sisters. Every struggle I make to provide for them, to get them back on track with their education and to build their self esteem which was almost completely demolished is a reminder that I am ageing. I realise it is a responsibility God has placed on my shoulders which I have carried and will continue to carry with joy. I ask for nothing back except to see them happy and successful in their own right.
Am I bitter? Again i thank you for probing into my thoughts and mind, asking me to revisit my real intentions for each of my actions. People need that sometimes.
So thank you dear sender. I really appreciate what you have done. May God bless you.
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3 comments:
salam ummi
i hope things are going well. I just saw ur post jan 06 raya with kids all dressed up, how tough it must have been sometimes.
I connected here via KTemoc's blog, I'm in California, from US. I went to Msia bec I wanted to marry a Malay girl from Tganu, studied at UM 4 mo. then proceeded to do everything wrong somehow, and lost her to an imam.
After that i didn't even try to marry, just went numb, survived the loss. God seemed to have been busy with other things. Now I'm an old geezer with a grey beard, waking up from this strange nightmare, realizing I'd like to be married, what a mess.
Anyway, congratulations for pulling through such a hard time. I wish I was rich, I'd ask for your help in translation (I'm so poor in Bahasa, I took 1 class for 4 mo.).
Well I'll stick your translation link in my blog, you might get a ref.
kesian, a lot of teardrops fell when reading ur posts.
daud / dude's coffee blender
OMG OMG OMG..i didn't realise what a sob story my blog is..
Ohh before that, that you for visiting my blog and posting a comment, I think yours is way cool. I have actually moved out of my sob story phase, and things are going on well, Alhamdulillah.
I am sorry to hear that your marriage plans didn't work out, but, believe that whatever state you are in now is the best, and is a stepping stone to better states to come. If you need help with translation, I might just be able to help, if time permits and it isn't a 100 page thesis or something of that nature :-)
Chin up, life is really beautiful. If you count your blessings, i am sure there'll be too many to mention :-)
Thanks for visiting DCB, yeah I don't know what I'm doing there, but doing something anyway.
I think that rather than bitter you have a "shell" that some people don't like, they expect you to be a softie, but they don't realize how difficult that is for a busy self-employed lady and mom. Old? Not according to your pics anyways.
I don't really know what I'd need translated, since I'm not really doing anything, but thanks for offering. :)
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